About your jokes.  Your co-workers are only laughing out of politeness.

We are required by OSHA, SFWA, and the MIB, to report that side effects may include: sudden teleportation, reptids, nonvoluntary cloning, dystopias, hyperspatial fluxes, space crumpets, yog sothoth, punning robots, singularities, exotic beverages, intelligences beyond our ken, and onerous exposition.

First aid kits on floors 3, 7, and 12 are due for replacing, but in consideration of budgetary problems we have decided that 90%  of all first aid problems can be solved with post-its and hand sanitizer, which are readily available in the supply room and on your desks.