In case of Jabberwock, break glass.

Our database vendor has been highly reliable for the past six years and our staff knows the system well.  Accordingly we are switching to a more expensive system from a new vendor who gave a presentation while paying all expenses for a vacation for our V.P.s in Vegas.

Technology -- you're doing it wrong.

Ducks, as you've probably guessed, are here primarily for your amusement.

It's not going to get any less weird. 

Ever since you installed that air purifier in your office, staff members have made a habit of farting there when you're not around.

Be assured that our full body scanners are operated by the most discreet of perverts.